I’m Shelbi. I’m a 33-year-old mom to two young boys. In January of 2022, my husband went into sudden cardiac arrest while at home with us. He never woke up. In an instant, I lost what was supposed to be my happy ever after. Pete was my teammate, my best friend, my favorite person on Earth. My life partner. And without warning, he was gone.

I quickly packed up my boys and moved us from our home outside Boston to my hometown in Vermont. I’d fled at 19 and swore I’d never, ever come back. But now here I am, back for the first time in 13 years, starting my life over from scratch as a single mom in rural Vermont. It’s like the world’s worst Hallmark movie. We live in a tiny studio apartment above my mother’s garage as we seek a more permanent home and we’re stumbling through this new life as best we can.

Writing is how I process things; how I think and feel. I thought I’d want to grieve privately, but that hasn’t felt right. I’m desperate for connection, to not feel like I’m just screaming into the void. This process of churning pain into something meaningful feels like it’s worth sharing.

So whether you’re here to gawk or because you love me, at least you’re here. So thank you. I feel less alone already.

If you want to chat…